BriLisa
Nana to Milo
Milo Adler graced this earth on July 3rd at 31 weeks. He was in NICU for 5 weeks and got to come home for 5 days. Milo then experienced some issues that caused his mom some concerns. At the doctor’s office, before he could ever be seen, he coded. Milo was stabilized after coding numerous times before being life flighted to Children’s PICU.
After several days and several tests, Milo was diagnosed with liver failure. This caused tremendous issues with his organs. Milo was placed on a ventilator and dialysis. Papa and Nana drive a truck so we weren’t home but I was blessed to get to meet and hug on Milo during his short time at home.
I was able to financially support Milo’s mom, my daughter. I did my best to emotionally support her, but how does one do that when you can’t physically be near. Hearing the heartbreak in her voice and reading the pain in her messages was gut wrenching. Some days the unknown was more than I could handle and all I could do was weep.
Milo received his first liver transplant and we all had thought our prayers had been answered. Shortly after again he was in liver failure. During this time my best friend of 31 years was also fighting for her life. [It was a lot to handle.] Milo was again put on the transplant list.
On September 20th, around 2pm, my best friend Michelle gained her angel wings. I was beside myself. I didn’t want to message Hailey, as her heart was fragile. As I typed out my message to send her, I begged Michelle to protect Milo. Shortly after her passing Milo’s second liver transplant donor had been found. I believed that there’s no way that God would be this cruel. Take my best friend of 32 years and my grandbaby. Milo was doing so well. We all believed he was on the road to recovery.
But then, once again, his liver was failing and his body couldn’t handle all the trauma after so many procedures and surgeries. So many prayers were lifted, but the doctor’s were no longer able to save our sweet Milo. The day Hailey told us this we headed home. I couldn’t breathe and my heart felt like it had just been hit with a wrecking ball.
Hailey said, “We are preparing for end of life care for Milo.” She asked if we could bring Milo’s big brothers to the hospital for family photos with On Angel’s Wings and his baptism. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done, but I wouldn’t want anyone else to take them. I had not seen my baby girl, Hailey or Milo for nearly 2 months. I did my best to prepare my three littles (grandsons) for what they would see but I don’t think they understood.
Seeing Milo released so much sadness in my soul. But the Mama Bear kicked in upon seeing Hailey hurt this much. I knew that I had to be strong and protect her as best I could. I wrapped my arms around her and reminded her “I’ve got you!” So for a moment she didn’t have to be strong. Milo was suffering physically but my baby girl was suffering emotionally, mentally, and physically. I was completely helpless in fixing either of them. That is the worst feeling in the world. I just kept reminding her and I still do: “I can’t take away your pain and hurt. I can’t tell you why any of this happened. But I can tell you that I will love you through this. I will pick you up. Hug you. Dust you off. And stand you on your feet. For as long and as often as I need too.”
Having these pictures to cherish for the rest of our lives is a gift that I can never repay. The photographer went above and beyond with Milo’s brothers. She was very professional but showed she was human with a good heart and emotions. I am eternally grateful to On Angel’s Wings.
