By Brittney Cowin
Mommy to Luna and rainbow baby Myles
Luna was stillborn in July 2019
Myles was born in October 2024
On July 7, 2019, I heard the sentence no parent should ever have to hear: “I’m so sorry, but there is no heartbeat.”
After hearing those words, a haunting darkness washed over me. My perfectly normal, healthy 33-week pregnancy came crumbling down. I was alone in a hospital I had never been to before with my almost 3-year-old daughter, Lily, preparing to deliver her little sister, Luna.
The staff prepared me for an induction of a baby who would never cry, scream, smile, laugh, or come home with me. They gently told me this would be the hardest thing I would ever experience and encouraged me to let my feelings come however they needed to.
The nurses offered to contact On Angels’ Wings to come capture photos of Luna. I was hesitant about having a complete stranger walk into one of the most broken moments of my life.
When the photographer walked through the door, a lightness came with her. Somehow, she managed to capture joy and love in photographs during a moment when I struggled to feel either. She captured the only pictures of my girls I will ever have together, and I hold them so close to my heart. She reminded us throughout the session that Luna was so loved and that although she wouldn’t be coming home with me the way I wanted, I would always carry part of her in my heart.
Six weeks after losing Luna, I returned for my follow-up appointment and learned that her umbilical cord had not developed properly, causing her to have a heart attack. I was told they believed she hadn’t suffered. While those words brought some peace, they also opened wounds I hadn’t realized were still there.
In the years that followed, I poured all of my love and energy into my oldest daughter, Lily. I had been diagnosed with endometriosis and was told that, because of its progression, I would not be able to have children again. I accepted that reality and believed our family would always be just Lily and me, while continuing to honor Luna. We got close to the founder of the organization, Michelle, who Lily has affectionally called “Aunt Chel” for years. Michelle did a remembrance session with Lily and I that I will always hold special, because it allowed us to honor Luna and still find joy in each other.
In August 2023, I started dating Tanner, someone I knew from high school. After he met Lily, we had an early conversation about children. I shared my infertility diagnosis, and he shared that he had also been told as a child that he would never be able to have children. We believed Lily would be our world and planned to always keep Luna’s memory alive.
Then, in February 2024, everything changed. Because of my irregular cycles from endometriosis, I took a monthly pregnancy test. Instead of one line, there were two.
Tanner and I panicked. We couldn’t believe what we were seeing. Blood work the next morning confirmed that we were expecting our miracle rainbow baby.
Throughout the pregnancy, I was considered extremely high risk and saw multiple specialists. Halfway through, we went to our anatomy scan terrified, yet excited to find out the baby’s gender. When the ultrasound technician asked how we felt about having a little boy, it brought a joy I had been too afraid to feel.
Around that same time, Michelle reached out and offered to personally photograph our rainbow maternity session. Those photos were the first time during my pregnancy that I allowed myself to feel something other than anxiety.
On October 22, 2024, I heard the beautiful cry of my rainbow baby. It was a sound I didn’t realize I needed in order to breathe.
Myles William was born, and the final piece of our family was here. A month later, Michelle photographed our rainbow family session, honoring Luna by wrapping Myles in a purple wrap (the color I’ve always used to represent Luna in our lives) — a beautiful reminder that she will always be part of our family.
I want the world to know that even though Luna is gone, she will never be forgotten. We love her so incredibly much, and just because we have Myles now doesn’t mean she has been replaced.
Our hopes for the future are simple: watching Lily and Myles grow into the amazing young people we know they are capable of becoming. Every year on Luna’s birthday, we find ways to celebrate who she would have been, ending the day with our annual Harry Potter marathon.
Lily has also found healing through On Angels’ Wings’ Legacy of Hope Children’s Grief Day Camps. After attending her first camp in December 2025, she was finally able to open up about feelings she had been holding inside because she didn’t know how to communicate them with the adults in her life. The experience gave her the confidence to tell us—and her therapist—that she needed grief counseling to work through those emotions.
When I picked her up after her second camp in July 2026, she didn’t want to leave because she had so much fun. She even reunited with a friend she had met the year before. As soon as we got into the car, she began to cry, expressing how a weight was lifted with Luna’s birthday next week and being reminded she’s not alone in losing a sibling. She then excitedly told me about everything they had done and all the fun she had too. Most importantly, Lily learned how valuable it is to have a community that understands her grief, and she now wants to help other children walking a similar path. On Angels’ Wings gave her the foundation to realize she isn’t alone.
A couple of weeks later, Lily received a hand-written note from Michelle telling Lily how proud she was of her. Lily cried reading it. She said it’s nice that the progress she is trying to make with her grief is seen.
I don’t think words can truly describe what On Angels’ Wings means to our family. They have been with me through the darkest moment of my life and one of my happiest. They gave me the only pictures I will ever have of my girls together. They have captured Lily growing up, documented my rainbow pregnancy, and photographed our family as complete as it can be under our circumstances.
They have been shoulders to cry on and people to celebrate with.
In a world that often feels filled with darkness and hate, On Angels’ Wings is a place of love and hope. No family would ever choose the journey that brought them here, yet it becomes part of their story. OAW steps into those moments without judgment or agenda. They become friends. They become family.
I will never stop being grateful for this organization and everything they have done for us.
