By Anna Robinson
Mommy to Jasper
Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia, Premature
Born November 2023
I had dreamed of having a baby since I was much younger. I had this thoughtfully planned birth plan and hopes for a smooth pregnancy. But that’s not how our story unfolded.
After struggling with infertility due to PCOS, I conceived through IVF. At 7 weeks pregnant, I hemorrhaged from a subchorionic hematoma (SCH) and was rushed to the emergency room. There, I was told I had miscarried. I was devastated. A week later, I found out they had made a mistake—my baby was perfectly fine. That moment should have brought peace, but instead, it made for a hard pregnancy filled with anxiety and uncertainty. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
At 32 weeks pregnant, I developed severe preeclampsia and was admitted to the hospital. While being monitored, Jasper’s heart rate suddenly dropped into the 50s. I was rushed for an emergency C-section under general anesthesia.
Jasper was born at 32 weeks gestation. I never went into labor. I didn’t get to hear my son cry for the first time. I wasn’t the first one to hold him. All those precious firsts I had imagined—I missed them. It was nothing like I had planned.
Jasper was whisked away to the NICU, and we began navigating life with a medically fragile baby. He was in the NICU for 49 days and diagnosed with BPD (bronchopulmonary dysplasia), which meant that even after he was released, we had to stay home much more to limit exposure. Even normal respiratory viruses could be dangerous for him. It was a long journey to recovery and normal lung function, but thankfully, Jasper is now living complication-free with no signs of BPD. He does have some motor skill delays, but we’re hopeful he’ll catch up over time.
I still dream of another chance at pregnancy—if I’m medically cleared. I hold onto that hope, just like I hold onto the moments we did get.
That’s why the photos provided by On Angels’ Wings have meant the world to me. I never got to take maternity pictures since I gave birth early, and I missed out on those first-day photos with Jasper in the hospital. The images we do have, thanks to OAW, allow me to look back and remember the positive aspects of our journey. They truly mean so much, and I’ll be forever grateful.
We also participated in pictures with Santa through OAW. It was such an amazing opportunity—to be able to meet Santa without worrying about extra germ exposure was such a gift. I was so thankful to be part of it and to get those photos of my son.
OAW really filled the gap of feeling some sort of normalcy by providing photos that otherwise may never have been taken due to our circumstances. I definitely felt seen and supported.
To other families like mine, I would say: make that connection with On Angels’ Wings. You won’t regret it. Pictures might not seem like a priority in the moment, but they last a lifetime—and they’ll be something you treasure forever.
