By Danielle Lenze
Mommy to Elizabeth
Trisomy 18
Born resting April 24, 2024
Our journey began on March 8, 2024, at our first doctor’s appointment. They drew blood for genetic testing so we could find out the baby’s sex earlier than waiting for an ultrasound. We went home and told our kids we were having a baby. They were so excited that they were crying tears of joy.
On March 15, we found out we were having a girl. The test results also showed a high percentage of fetal cells indicating that she had Trisomy 18.
From that moment on, I was ready to take care of her no matter what it took. I started researching hospitals across the country that were considered “trisomy-friendly,” places that might give her a fighting chance. I was willing to do anything to keep her. She was already our little girl. We were planning life around her being with us. I didn’t want to come home without her, and I truly believed that I wouldn’t. I would have gladly laid down my life for her to live.
On April 3, 2024, we went to a maternal-fetal medicine appointment for an ultrasound. I had declined further testing, but the doctor confirmed that sweet Elizabeth did have Trisomy 18. We were told she would likely pass before my due date, and that if she were born alive, she would likely live only a few hours—at most, a few weeks.
The doctor offered me an abortion. After she left the room, her colleague came in and offered one as well. I made it clear to both of them that it was not an option. They allowed us another ultrasound and let us record Elizabeth’s heartbeat. They gave us a stuffed sheep that could hold her recorded heartbeat as a keepsake.
It was an incredibly hard appointment. Tim and I broke down and cried as we tried to console each other. Even with the dismal diagnosis, we still had hope. This was our baby they were talking about. I was angry at how the doctors approached us, and I held onto the belief that sometimes doctors are wrong. I hoped they were wrong about our Elizabeth.
However, our sweet daughter unfortunately didn’t make it to full term, passing in the womb in late April. When we went into the hospital knowing that our little Elizabeth would be born already passed, it was a traumatic experience. We were in shock and deeply grieving. As I labored, it became harder to think about anything else. When she finally arrived, the weight of it all was overwhelming.
I connected with On Angels’ Wings after I found out we had lost Elizabeth, before I went to the hospital. I found them through a Facebook search. They were able to come to the hospital and take photos of Elizabeth and our entire family spending time together. Our photographer was very kind and professional. She captured the sweetest moments with our daughter during such an intimate and devastating time.
After we lost Elizabeth, our whole family struggled deeply. We took a break from our normal activities and focused on spending quality time together. We visited her grave often. In June 2025, we moved to Florida after my husband joined the Navy. Leaving her behind was incredibly hard. Our last stop before leaving town was visiting her grave. We were all crying and heartbroken. Being over 1,000 miles away now makes it difficult not being able to visit regularly, but we find comfort knowing we will see her again one day. We also did a first birthday memorial session with On Angels’ Wings before moving, which provided a beautiful momento in celebrating her and our family together.
We continue to keep Elizabeth’s memory alive every day. The pictures from the hospital hang on our wall. Every time we see a rainbow, we say that’s Elizabeth looking down on us. We talk about her often—when we try something new or reach a milestone, we include her in the conversation. We order candles in her honor with her name on them. We support organizations that raise awareness and funds for Trisomy 18, and our whole family wears shirts with her name on them.
Although we never got the chance to truly know Elizabeth, she brought light and hope into our world. We try to spread that same light by doing good works in her honor. Last year I went on a missions trip with two of my daughters to help serve the homeless, and I was able to share about Elizabeth with a church full of people. She continues to impact others through us.
Elizabeth’s pictures mean so much to us. The time we spent with her was intimate and precious, and I’m so thankful we have photographs to look at every day. When the photographer arrived at the hospital, she was patient and respectful. At the time, we were too overwhelmed to fully process what she was giving us. Now, especially living so far from her grave, those photos serve as a memorial of her presence and our love for her.
I have also seen the impact that On Angels’ Wings continues to have on families, even after loss—through counseling, events, memorial sessions, and first birthday sessions. The work they do is incredibly meaningful.
The photographs they provided us are something tangible that we can hold onto. In one of the most traumatic seasons of our lives, they gave us something sacred—memories preserved forever.
