By Tatum Lippert
Mommy to Sophia
Anencephaly
Born still December 2023
We were so excited to be pregnant! It was a total surprise, but we were ecstatic! At the time, our son was 3 and our daughter was 4 years old. Our kids were beyond excited to welcome a new sibling. We did the early blood test and found out we were having a little girl. My daughter was so excited when she found out. She would not stop talking about her baby sister that was coming.
I had my first ultrasound scheduled for 9 weeks to see my official due date. I told my husband he didn’t need to come with me because I was so early, I didn’t think there was a lot to see. When I went in to the ultrasound, I was excited to see this little baby! The ultrasound tech was extremely quiet the entire time. I jokingly said, “Is there twins?” and she very quickly shut that down. She stated there is “definitely no twins.” A few minutes later, she left the room quickly. I waited in there for what felt like forever.
She finally came back in with the doctor, and he started to look at the baby. He said, “I don’t want to worry you, but the baby is measuring smaller than your due date.” I was measuring almost 8 weeks instead of 9. He said the head looks a little different than normal. He wanted me to come back in two weeks when the baby got a little bit bigger.
So for two weeks, my husband and I were in constant prayer that this little girl would be healthy. When we went back in for the follow-up ultrasound the tech was very quiet. Afterwards, they sent us to the waiting room. We ended up waiting for over an hour, but had to pick up our kids at my grandma’s. So we told the front desk we had to leave and that she could call me with the results of the ultrasound.
I dropped my husband off at home and headed to pick up our kids. On my way, I got a call from my doctor. It wasn’t the nurse—it was my actual doctor on the phone, and that normally doesn’t happen, so I was surprised. She asked me to come back to the office. I asked her if she could tell me over the phone, and she told me this news needed to be done in person. Right then I knew. I knew something was really wrong.
I called my grandma and told her what was going on, so she canceled her plans and told me to head back to the doctor’s office. I cried the entire way in. As I got into the office, the doctor immediately hugging me. She told me that I needed to see a high-risk doctor—that something is wrong with our baby girl. She didn’t know exactly what it was. She did prepare me for all the possibilities.
They got me into high-risk for a long ultrasound the next morning. My high-risk doctor was not the most caring guy. He was honestly very emotionless. He said, “Your baby has anencephaly, and the baby will not live out of your womb. She will die as soon as she is born, if not then she will die in your womb. She is completely brain dead, and I think you should terminate. We can pay for your transportation to another state to get it done. She is lifeless.”
After we had told him we didn’t want to terminate her, he eventually backed off from it. I can’t count the amount of times we had nurses and other doctors tell us to terminate. We were scared of what the future held for us and Sophia, but we knew the Lord gave us her and we were going to see what He wanted to do with her life. So we continued the pregnancy!
We first encountered On Angels’ Wings when they provided maternity pictures for us. It was a fun session – we danced and laughed – for a moment, we got to celebrate Sophia, not just mourn the future she wouldn’t have. I had a really stressful pregnancy with our son and I really prayed for my third to be a good, healthy pregnancy. The Lord had different plans for us—and that’s okay.
I did have a planned C-section scheduled, but a couple days prior my doctor called me and said my fluid levels were really high. Because unlike a normal baby in the womb, our daughter didn’t have a lot of her brain, so she didn’t know to drink the amniotic fluid. That put me at a higher risk to hemorrhage during a C-section. She asked me to reconsider doing a vaginal birth. I listened, and while delivery was longer than my other children, she was born naturally. Unfortunately, Sophia passed during the delivery process and was stillborn.
The woman that took our pictures when the baby was born was so nice and sweet. She was so encouraging to us in a really hard time. She made such an impact in that moment by just showing us love.
Sophia’s diagnosis reminded me how short life is. I need to cherish every moment I have with my two other kids. We love to talk about Sophia and how she is in a far better place now. We miss her dearly. My kids draw pictures of her all the time. Life is truly such an amazing thing—how we were created and all that goes into us being knitted in our mother’s womb. It’s a beautiful gift that we get.
We are all still grieving her, but instead of being so upset about all the time I didn’t get with her, I try to remember the blessing of the 9 months I did have with her. I’m thankful for all the kicks that I got to feel. And I hope that sharing our story helps someone else going through this to not feel alone. Thankfully, I’m part of a wonderful church community that really put their arms around me, but I recognize not everyone has that.
The pictures On Angels’ Wings provided mean so much to us! They are moments we will treasure forever. As time goes on, memories start to fade, but pictures can last forever. Anytime I am just missing Sophia, I can look at these pictures and it takes me right back to holding her in that moment.
OAW does such a great job supporting so many families going through one of the hardest times in all of our lives. All of their volunteers are so kind! They take time out of their schedules to try to show love to us. I highly suggest considering OAW if you’re in a similar situation. They are absolutely amazing! What they do is so important. They help all of us by encouraging us and lifting us up. In the middle of a giant storm, they help shine some light. So thankful for them and what they do.
