By Brooke Riddlesperger
Mommy to Lincoln
Chronic Lung Disease / Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia
Born in November 2019
I had a super rough pregnancy, something was always wrong. I was in and out of triage. This night was different because I KNEW something was really bad, however I thought it might just be Braxton Hicks Contractions. Turns out I was in labor, at only 27 weeks along. I was a full 10cm dilated and they could feel his feet. Lincoln was delivered via emergency, crash course C-section. I was able to be awake for it, but I remember feeling a lot of the beginning cuts made because he was actually breech in the birth canal and coming quickly.
He was immediately taken to the NICU and we had a long, hard journey there. Breathing was his major issue, because his lungs weren’t fully developed when he was born. Lincoln was born without steroids or any other extra prep for his lungs to be able to function. His lungs were tore up on many different ventilators, and he required astronomical amounts of oxygen. His ventilator pressures were so high, they caused swelling to his head. He went 4.5 months without opening his eyes due to the swelling. Lincoln battled multiple infections during his nicu stay as well that took a huge toll on his lungs.
Nothing else mattered at that point, I just needed him to breathe.
We were in the NICU when On Angels’ Wings first was mentioned to us. We had a session when we didn’t know what the outcome was going to be. Lincoln was incredibly sick, and every day was rollercoaster. We took pictures with him because we honestly had no idea what was going to happen.
Fortunately, Lincoln was discharged at 10.5 months of age, but our journey at home was still long and hard. He came home on a mobile ventilator and we had to take it everywhere we went outside the home. My life is forever changed. My child fought hard to be here and that hasn’t changed. Everything we do now is so calculated.
Fortunately Lincoln came off the ventilator about a year after coming home from the NICU and he’s been growing and laying new lung tissue since. At three, his trach was capped, and we’re hoping to get it out entirely very soon. I just long for Lincoln to live a normal life and be his own person despite the cards he was dealt. Developmentally he is delayed. But he is on track to be a full blown “normal” kid. He had brain bleeds that have absorbed but he’s doing great.
OAW has done several photo sessions for us since that initial one in the hospital . We are so grateful to have the pictures and memories the organization has provided. As hard as it is to look back sometimes, it’s refreshing to see how far we’ve come.
DO IT – get the pictures done, even if you don’t want to. Even if you think you’ll remember every detail. Trauma is a funny thing, and your brain will heal itself from what you’ve truly experienced. Take the pictures. Remember. See the journey
